Breathe
by Queen Misazaki
Summary: <html><head></head>Why was his life the one that hurt? People left him, rushing in and out like he could easily be forgotten, a toy to be picked up later. But every toy has its use, and perhaps this new visitor won't be so bad. Cancer's a killer, but maybe there's something left to live for. (Heartshipping)</html>
1. Chapter 1

**The Queen makes her triumphant return! Alas the writing bug hadn't been playing nicely, and all the things I wrote weren't good enough to post, yet now I have a story I think I'll enjoy writing. I've had time to master my persuasive powers of poetry and presentation that put perspective on people's perils! Okay so maybe that alliteration was altogether an awful array, BUT I digress.**

**Okay so I've basically been working on my skills as a writer and I hope you all enjoy this new story I'm working on. I do not think any previous works before this will be updated, so I'm sorry if you were waiting for that. Aside from my skills, this passed year or two has brought a lot of hardships into my life and they needed to be addressed before now, things are going well and here I am!**

**Enjoy!**

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><p>Ryou had been dying for ages. As long as he could remember he was dying. For a while though, he pretended not to know, that the doctor's hopeful mutterings, sugar coatings, and beating around the bush had meant there was something there. It seemed that at seventeen, he was sick of hoping, and when doctors told him he was dying... he told them to just say it. Of course, everyone is dying, currently, dear reader, you are a moment closer to dying. Ryou just happened to be dying at an accelerated rate. The very things that were supposed to keep him alive were failing to do their one job. Some bronchial cancer whose name was long forgotten in his haze of medications. He wasn't likely to last five more years, with all the pain he felt he'd be happy to go at any moment. Ryou hadn't even been out of the hospital in so long that the window to the outside world seemed more like a screen than a view into life continuing on. The people below had no fucking clue how amazing it was to be them, living as they were without the air around them causing their slow murder. Perhaps he was bitter, but he imagined he had cause to be. What made it worse was the amount of visitors he got daily. Absolutely none. His father had probably long forgotten he had a child. After the accident that killed his mother and sister, the man had become estranged. Ryou hadn't been able to attend enough school to graduate, he'd gotten a GED instead, not that it'd do anything, the depressing high school level education certificate would sit there unused. Ryou would never be able to work, he'd be dead long before a cure for his malady was found.<p>

The door to his room was opened carefully, no one else was roomed with him, everyone got better and left. Ryou was always so alone. "I'll write you!" They said, hoping to cheer him up. The first few times he'd believed it, got excited even, but no mail ever came. So he stopped trying for it. He figured this was just another roommate in a blur of faceless secondary characters. Except... the person who entered wasn't sick, no doctors followed him in, and he appeared a little shy. Ryou just stared at him blankly, startling the boy.

"I'm sorry to intrude um..." He stared at the ground, a sign of incompetence and bad self esteem. "I'm from New Light um..."

"That stupid hospice group?" Ryou snorted. "You got the wrong room."

"I thought so too but the name I was given matches the plate outside the door... Ryou Bakura."

"Jeez... who sent you?" Ryou groaned. He hated people.

"Y-your doctor."

Ryou rolled his eyes, of course the old man had. "What's your name?"

"Yuugi." He looked up, he looked like a child, it was pathetic in Ryou's standards. Wide violet eyes stared up, Ryou'd probably intimidated him. Kid was expecting a grumpy old man not a grumpy teenager.

"Well, Yuugi, I suggest you get the fuck out. I don't need you or anyone else from your damn group." He could taste the patronization from here, if this kid stayed he'd be treated like a trapped animal, pitied. Ryou didn't want pity, he wanted to die already, hospice care would just serve to make his already boring timer of a life even more tedious.

There was something that passed through the intruder's eyes that Ryou didn't quite recognize. Though he found himself rather irritated that Yuugi hadn't left yet. How many insults did Ryou have to fire before this strange looking boy got it through his head that he didn't want him there?!

"I see... well I can't, I already promised I'd be here." Yuugi smiled, a semblance of confidence replacing the shy one from before. "So if you need something, tell me."

"Tch... what're they paying you?" Ryou sneered.

"Nothing, this is volunteer work." Yuugi's response was quick and earnest, catching Ryou off guard.

"...Whatever, hope you know I'll be working you like a servant."

Determination came out of nowhere and stuck attractively to Yuugi's features. "Fine! Give me your worst. I'm not leaving."

Where had any of that come from? Upon entry, this pathetic wimp had nothing solid to say and no voice whatsoever. This sudden confidence was overwhelming and sudden.

"Then go get me something to eat." He tossed his patient card at him. "Charge it there, I want something that doesn't taste like shit and something to drink too."

Yuugi faltered slightly. "Anything specific?" Such a vague order seemed to put him off.

"Nope, just make sure it doesn't suck." Ryou smirked, watching the pouty glare the other gave him.

"F-fine!" Yuugi huffed, leaving the room with the card.

The day was filled with frivolous orders that Yuugi followed to a T, including having to go back several times to find something for Ryou to eat that he actually liked. Every so often Yuugi would stumble, confidence wavering, but he'd get right back up and move to the beat of the drum Ryou had demanded of him. Ryou never ran out of ridiculous requests, and Yuugi never ran out of stamina. It was dark out by the time Yuugi was slated to leave.

"Surprised you stayed this long." Ryou snorted. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out."

Yuugi rolled his eyes. "See you tomorrow then."

"Ha, you're not coming back." Ryou rolled over in his bed.

"What makes you think that?"

"No one ever comes back."

Yuugi frowned, taking his jacket back off and moving back to the chair near his bed. "Why?"

Ryou paused, looking him over. Why did he care? Why did anyone pretend they cared? No one actually did, they did it to look like good people, in the end they were all the same, all talk. Even still, Ryou decided to answer the question set before him. Honestly, he didn't know why people never came back, he had always summed it up to no one caring, and it was likely true. Who would care about some kid they'd just met? Some child that had no ties to them at all, but weren't there supposed to be good people out there too?

"Because no one cares." He sighed, pretending to have lost interest.

"Don't you have family?"

There was the question everyone asked, whenever he said he never got visitors... they all asked this same question, at first it had been painful to explain but now it was as annoying as having to swallow a large pill.

"They're all dead except my father, he's out of the country on work." His monotone seemed to startle the other.

"Well, I'm sorry to hear about that. I'll see you tomorrow, Ryou." And honestly... Ryou believed him.


	2. Chapter 2

The return was both expected and surprising. On the one hand Ryou knew Yuugi had said he'd come back, but even still no one ever had before. Yet there he was, sitting at his bedside early in the morning, peeling an apple (as Ryou had requested), this soft smile on pale lips. Ryou wasn't sure why, but he was angry. Why did this make him so angry?! Should he ask or would that be strange? Why was Ryou even over thinking all of this? It was even more frustrating than the problem at hand. Wait... what even was the problem?

"You okay? You seem kinda strange?" Yuugi asked, starting to cut the apple into pieces.

"You'd be acting fucking strange too if you had to live in a room every day of your life!" He snapped.

"... Okay what's up?"

He glared. "Why did you come back?"

"Because I said I would." Yuugi replied, tilting his head.

"Why did you even say you would?!" This was becoming overly aggravating.

"Because I like you." Yuugi smiled. "Besides, you seemed lonely and I volunteered anyway, so might as well make a friend out of it right?"

Friend, a word unfamiliar to him, even in moments of health. When he'd attempted school, he was behind everyone else. Everyone had their friend groups, and Ryou had been from school to school, holding maybe one or two acquaintances at a time. He'd never had friends, people either found out he was sick and backed off or thought he was strange to begin with. It didn't help that he sometimes had some form of medical equipment with him.

Ryou bowed his head, hands clenching in his lap. "What makes you think I want your friendship?"

Yuugi paused and looked up at him. "You seem bitter, this room is empty aside from you, and you apparently don't get visitors. Has anyone ever taken time from their day to just... sit with you?"

Ryou hesitated to answer, not since his birthday nearly a year ago. His Father had stopped in, that was about it. He gave a soft sigh.

"Sad isn't it?" Ryou gave a dry laugh. "The only person who wants to visit me is some stranger from a organization dedicated to help the dying." The weight of his situation nearly suffocated him. A dying teenager that people would only remember after he was gone, someone most doctors treated as already dead, a boy ripped from his prime, living friendless and without family. He was the epitome of pathetic, but never once had he felt so sad about it. He figured that his death was the end of all this suffering, waiting for someone to stop and give a shit. That's what hit Ryou hard. No one, absolutely no one had ever cared for him the way that this boy had... this boy who was hired to help him die quietly. How do you even describe that desolation? You can't, the emotion is too raw, too bloody and painful, it burns within a person, it rots their heart, their mind, breaks their trust and causes hate to grow. Maybe that's why he was so furious that Yuugi had stayed, because his mental wiring told him to hate.

The inner turmoil was suddenly interrupted by a hand on his shoulder. "I won't lie... it sounds pretty sad." As annoyed as Ryou was, he still admired his honesty, people always sugar coated shit, this was much nicer. "But what if we stop being strangers? I've never met anyone quite like you."

It felt like something cold just melted away, the steady thawing of his heart began at this point. "I-I suppose so..."

Yuugi smiled at him brightly, it seemed as if every expression the boy made was perfectly designed for his face, never awkward, never strange. "In that case..." He handed him the apple. "Why not watch a movie?"

"Uh... sure." Ryou blinked. "There's not too much to choose from over there but if you wanna look through my movies, go right ahead."

Yuugi moved from his chair, dusting the apple skin from his lap, he couldn't help but notice the delicacy in which he did everything, was it habitual or did he make an effort?

"You got a lot of horror..." Yuugi remarked.

"My favourite genre." Ryou's pride didn't get hidden from his voice.

"Then I'll just pick one, since you love it. Personally I like suspense movies." Yuugi pulled one from the shelf and went to put it into the TV up in the corner.

"Suspense? Those are pretty good too, I don't have any here though... they'd all be at my house." If his father still owned it. Ryou was pretty sure he'd left Ryou there to rot, sold the house, and moved on.

"I've got some at my place I can bring in too! What's your favourite movie?"

"Hmm... gotta go with Organic Destruction personally, what about you?" Ryou started to smile a little.

"Dire." Yuugi chirped.

"Seriously?! I love that one!" Ryou was surprised, it wasn't a movie people often watched or even knew about. "I think that one's on the shelf right now actually."

Yuugi took the dvd he'd picked out of the system and hopped back to the shelf, quickly looking it over until he found the case and held it above his head like he was a character in a video game who'd found an item. "Got it!"

Ryou grinned, "put it in!"

Yuugi stumbled and nearly tripped in his excitement, setting the movie up and sitting in his seat next to Ryou again. It had been interminable how long it'd been since he'd smiled like that. He couldn't help but enjoy this. Next to him was a tolerable person who had interests in some of the stuff he did. Perhaps he'd found the one person he couldn't hate.

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><p><strong>None of the movies listed are based on real movies.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**I bet yall thought I was lying, that I wouldn't be back again! WELL LOOK! Senior year may be busy but I'm updating~**

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><p>He couldn't breathe, that's all his brain registered, waking itself from sleep in panic. He couldn't breathe! Ryou started to freak out, scrambling to grab the nurse call button. Morning light shined through the slits in the shades on the windows, but the peaceful look was far from it, especially when Ryou knocked the call button to the floor. His lungs burned, the feeling like being crushed was centred on those useless lungs. Ryou floundered, head jerking left and right, he could feel his pulse pounding in his ears. He'd die like this... this was it...<p>

And then the door swung open, Yuugi in the doorway paused in horror before calling a doctor over in a hurry, Ryou was out from lack of oxygen before they could get there, his throat feeling warm.

Dark... it was so dark, everything felt cold and there was a fuzzy light off in the distance. The area around him was dark, but solid, so he could stand on the invisible plane. He stepped towards the light slowly, watching as it grew brighter until he was in a world of light, leaving behind that black one, which was now a fuzzy dot behind him. Two figures approached Ryou, one small, one tall, both holding hands. The closer they got the more he recognised him. The smaller being wrapped her arms around his leg, her head coming up as high as his hips.

"...Amane?" He croaked.

She grinned, the gap in her teeth was the same as it had been when she died. "I missed big brother so much!"

If this was his sister... then the other figure must be... Ryou looked up, bleary eyed from the tears threatening to spill. The woman looked back at him, her hair the same snowy white his was. She had soft blue eyes that matched Amane's perfectly.

"Mom?" He asked, she nodded. "Am I dead?"

His mother approached him, pulling her son to her chest and cradling him to the heart that beat no more, but even in this place he could hear the steady rhythm of a beating heart and his knees nearly buckled.

"No my child, you're not dead, just asleep." She ran soft fingers through his hair as she spoke. "Don't mistake me though, we aren't a dream. You got so close to dying, that we could visit."

"But I don't want to wake up... I want to stay here." Ryou sounded every bit the child that had died with his mother, holding her tightly as if just the wind could blow her away from him.

"It's not time yet, my love..." She smiled, lifting his face to look into his eyes. "We're waiting for you, know that we're here. We're watching and we're proud of you for making it so far... but you need to wake up, your job in the world of the living isn't over yet. That poor boy, Yuugi, who comes to see you needs you just as much as you need him." Already the darkness from before began to pull him away from this heaven.

"N-no! I want to stay with you and Amane!" He cried, reaching for her as he was ripped away.

"We're always with you, it's time to wake up now." She took Amane's hand and the small girl waved at him eagerly before they both disappeared.

The darkness pulled him like a gust of air and finally he became aware that he was laying down. Ryou slowly opened his eyes, the familiar sounds of the hospital greeting him, along with the faces of a nurse and Yuugi.

"Thank goodness you're awake..." Yuugi sighed in relief. "I got really worried for a moment."

The nurse smiled and offered Ryou a glass of water before disappearing. Ryou sat up slowly, looking around the room.

"...What happened?" His voice was raspy, hoarse.

"Your lungs stopped, so they had to attach you to this breathing device..."

In Ryou's groggy state he hadn't even noticed the mask on his face, forcing his lungs to inhale and exhale, everything felt natural for the most part but the sight of it threw him into despair.

"Ha... haha... I'm not even a fucking person anymore... I'm more machine than man..." Ryou brought a hand up to his face, covering his eyes. "Why couldn't they just let me die?"

Yuugi reached for his hand but Ryou jerked it away. "Why did you save me?!" Ryou spat, hands curling into fists. "I wanted to die! I've wanted to die for years!"

"I-I..." Yuugi flinched, backing away slightly. "I thought I was helping..."

"Tch... get out, you weren't helping, you just prolonged my miserable existence..." And after he'd seen his mother again.

"I'm sorry! You looked like you were in pain and you dropped the nurse call..."

Ryou paused, he had reached for it hadn't he? Ryou'd tried to save his own life, but failed in the process... perhaps part of him did want to live still. Why did his body betray him when all he wanted was to leave this earth before he got too lonely and too forgotten? Ryou was on the verge of tears, all this confusion plus everything else just was too much. The breathing machine... the IV... the heart monitors... he was being forced to live in misery. The next thing the sick boy knew, there were arms around him, holding him gently. How long had it been since someone held him? He couldn't recall... It took Ryou a moment before he returned the gesture, shoulders trembling with sobs that yielded no tears.

"I'm sorry..." Yuugi said softly, just letting himself be the pillow to cry into.

Something came back to Ryou in that instant. He remembered what his mother had said. "He needs you just as much as you need him". So what had happened to Yuugi that made him, a bitter cancer patient, someone who was potentially important? Or had Ryou really dreamt his mother and sister up?

"It's not like this was your fault..." Ryou replied, shrugging Yuugi off of him. "I don't know who to blame... but it's not your fault." Ryou muttered. "It's my destiny to die apparently..."

"I think that looking at it like that is what makes you sound so angry. Live as much as you can before then." Yuugi tried.

That made Ryou angry. "Live? Live?! I'm connected to machines that make me function, this isn't living, it's surviving! I can't survive without these things and I can't move from my bed." He spat. "There is no 'life' for me. I've earned every right to be bitter..."

"Bitterness hurts though... hatred hurts... after a while it becomes painful to be so angry all the time." Yuugi replied softly. "Aren't you tired of being so furious?"

Ryou paused a moment and thought that over. Yeah it did hurt... sometimes his chest ached and others his joints were sore. Hating was all Ryou knew how to do because no one had loved him. He didn't know how to do anything more than hate.

"I don't know." He replied, laying back on his bed. "I think you should go for the day. I'll see you tomorrow." Ryou blinked, he'd never said that to someone, knowing no one would return usually. Ryou smiled softly, knowing that Yuugi very well would be back the next day. He was no longer alone.


End file.
